Standing at the kitchen sink washing last night’s dishes…(I know, I should have done them before I went to bed), I began to recall something my husband said this morning. He was telling me how amazing it was to just sit in the presence of the Lord and take communion. He said he spent time telling the Lord how grateful he was for all that God had done for us through Jesus. My husband said it was as if a warm blanket of love wrapped around him. Instantly, I could no longer heard his voice… my own thoughts took over, ‘What’s this? You took communion without me?’ My feelings were hurt! How could he have had this experience and exclude me? BUMPER CAR flash back! (https://atfathersfeet.blogspot.com/2011/06/whose-bumper-car-are-you-in.html)
Yup, I was having a bumper car moment! Was I trying to hop into his bumper car? Or was this something I was supposed be joined with him in? And, as Father began to soothe my ruffled, religious feathers, He shared something I had not thought of before, so I believe it came from Him. The first question I asked myself is why this upset me so? I was hurt because I wanted to be included in this beautiful experience. I had not realized until now I wanted my husband to share all things spiritual with me; I wanted him to be my spiritual leader. I was supposed to be in that car with him.
What was so important about his sharing the things of God with me? We can all have our own relationship with God, and we can each hear from God; anyone can experience Him without a human as a mediator, so what was the big deal? Could the reason be because God set the man as the head of the woman? (I Cor 11:3) To cover her. Is the man the spiritual head of the house in the same way the pastor of a church is the head of his assigned house?
Just as each church has a set man of the house, the husband is the set man of the home. The pastor of the church hears from God and gives what he hears to the people. The pastor’s role as spiritual leader does not give him the right to tell people how to run their lives, what house to buy, or what car to drive. He hears from God and leads the people according the vision and the word God has given him.
But each person is responsible for their own relationship with God, however, the appointed man is the leader of the church in the things of God. The pastor has oversight and responsibility for the spiritual growth of the church. He prays for his people and counsels them, either personally, or by his designated representative. He cares for their development, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and materially, but it is the individual who is ultimately decides to obey or disobey. I think in like manner, the man is suppose to lead his family.
The home is a microcosm of the church. God established the home before He gave birth to the church. He created Adam to take dominion and subdue the earth. Adam’s assigned task was to make earth like heaven. When God brought Eve into the picture everything was finished. (Ref: Gen 2:21-23; I Tim 2:13)
When a man fulfills his role as the spiritual leader of the home, he is in agreement with God. He truly covers his wife and family. He is their intercessor and advocate before the Father. Although I know my husband prays for me and takes responsibility for me, I want all that God has for us. The word of God says we perish for a lack of knowledge. (Hosea 4:6) I don’t want one thing God has for me to escape because I was ignorant of it.
When Saul stepped out of his authority and offered a sacrifice because the prophet Samuel delayed in arriving, he was deeply reprimanded. (I Sam 13:7-14) It can be a challenge not to take matters into our own hands, but God has anointed and appointed as He pleases. Our obligation is to cooperate with God’s plan. Sometimes it is easy to forget that God is Spirit and deals primarily with our spiritman. Our spiritman is to have dominion over our soul and then the flesh must come in line.
I certainly am not implying that women are not spiritual, nor that women do not hear from God. Obviously, there are different situations and circumstances that complicate and compromise the ideal position a man might fill in the home, but it is not unreasonable to believe that the man, as God intended, has a very important role as the spiritual leader in the home. Whether he steps into it or not is a different story.